And Where Am I?

Description

And Where Am I? captures a moment of self-reflection, where the artist, suspended upside down by gravity boots between the stumps of two dead Giant Sequoias, reaches down toward the earth. This central figure—a self-portrait—embodies the experience of being caught between past, present, and future, grasping for grounding while grappling with life’s biggest questions. Against a backdrop of towering young redwoods, the figure’s gesture feels both defiant and searching, as if leaning into gravity itself to find some kind of clarity.

Nearby, a vulture perches on a young redwood, watching intently. This bird, with its soft glow of copper and gold, stands as a reminder of life’s constant cycle of transformation and change. The vulture’s presence could be a warning or an invitation—to either stay grounded or move forward. Just below, inscribed in dark copper tones that blend into the earth, is a line that echoes the figure’s existential questions:

“Ghost all around and death in the ground, Life in the sky… And where am I?”

These words ground the scene in a feeling of contemplation, asking us to consider how we choose to live with the pull of past experiences and the uncertainty of what’s next.

The forest setting has a quiet, cathedral-like feel. The faint silhouettes of older, larger Sequoias—like the memory of trees long gone—reach upward, creating a mix of reverence and mystery. The scene’s earthy colors blend with an aura of gold and copper around the figure, staying just above the ground where “death lives.” This boundary between the figure and the ground suggests a moment caught between change and stillness.

The canvas itself carries its own story. Used throughout the summer to wipe brushes, it’s been built up with pigments from other projects, infused with the raw emotions and experiences of the season. Mixed with ashes saved from the artist’s own pipe, the canvas feels like it’s holding a bit of the past, like a diary of the artist’s reflections and changes over time.

If And Where Am I? speaks to you, it’s available in my online shop. To explore more works centered on connection, self-reflection, and transformation, check out the Magic Mood series.

How It Fits into the Magic Mood Series:
And Where Am I? is part of the Magic Mood series, which dives into the depth of self-reflection, connection, and the intimate work of personal transformation. Each piece in Magic Mood uses magical realism to reveal hidden layers of emotional experience, often exploring themes of love, memory, and growth. Here, the figure suspended in thought and the observing vulture reflect the series’ exploration of moving forward despite the pull of the past, capturing the courage it takes to keep choosing life, even when it’s hard.